Finding your motivation to exercise or make any change in your life can be challenging and frankly, a little scary. BUT you are the only one that can make it happen! No matter how much the people around you love and encourage you they can not drive you to the gym or force you to eat healthy food. We all know this of course, but sometimes it's easy to forget when you are dealing with a loved one who isn't on the same page that you are - no matter how hard you try you just can't get them to take care of themselves. Just this morning I was reminded of this truth.
Arghhhh...my spouse and I tried a new gym up the street from our house a few weeks ago. It's awesome! A fun cardio based workout with all sorts of cool gadgets to make it even more interesting and exciting - they even bring you a cool towel and some coconut water at the end of your sweaty workout. I tried it for a free week and convinced my spouse to go to a free class with me.
It was our date! We got through the sweaty class together, what a rush to be with the one you love, laughing together at how hard the workout is and feeling such a great sense of accomplishment when it was over. We made it! It was tough - the coaches were so impressed with how great he did. The best thing was - we survived this crazy cardio workout together and icing on the cake - He got a free week too! So exciting! I went through the schedule and booked him for classes that could work with his schedule for his free trial week.
Monday he was signed for the evening class - he had to cancel because of work. Wednesday he was signed up for the evening class - he had to cancel because of traffic. This morning I had him all set for the 6 a.m. class - 10 minutes to 6 he's all dressed and ready, I say "have fun" and hear him go downstairs to leave. 5 minutes later he reappears at the bathroom door to say it's too late - he can't go and interrupt the class. He breaks down and tells me he really didn't like it he was just going along because he didn't want to be a buzz kill. WTF.
THE ABOVE WAS WHAT I WAS GOING TO POST YESTERDAY. TODAY I WOKE UP THINKING DIFFERENTLY...
Maybe if I just let it go and try to keep my own switch on it will carry over to him. All I can do is keep myself going. All I can do is take care of myself. I can be a good example but even more than that. The energy of my motivation actually may carry him along too and ignite motivation in him. Maybe..
I can talk about high blood pressure and diabetes etc til I'm blue in the face but it's not going to make him budge. I can cook healthy food and pack him lunches but even if he's eating it, his body is really telling him "no", he won't lose weight He won't, he won't, he won't - until he gets there himself. All I can do is take care of myself. All I can do is keep my own motivation up and hope it rubs off on him. It sounds selfish but it's just true, I can only control my own motivation and actions. Even if I drag him there, it won't work unless his heart is into it. It's all in his heart, not mine.
Then it occurred to me this thought can apply to our whole world. Yes, you've heard this kind of thinking before - if not a million times. "The Law of Attraction" and so many other great schools of thought. Maybe you've read many of those kinds of books or listened to podcasts or whatever you are into. Maybe you've never heard of such things. Either way I believe it is true. "Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me". Yes, all good thoughts on spreading love and all so undeniably true. The more positive you put out there, the more positive you will get back.
So I am putting positive thoughts into helping my wonderful husband but my actions can only be for me. The rest is up to him. If you are reading this post and thinking the same - no matter where you are, maybe your good thoughts will help him too. Send him good thoughts from where ever you are.
When trying to help a loved one get healthier this is all we have to hang onto. This is all we can do - let it begin with you.
I'll keep you posted on progress over here.
I Am Healthy
I Am Strong
I am Confident
I Can Make the World a Better Place
Think It - Be It
Maria Humphreys is a meditation expert, personal trainer, mom and wife.