What's your idea of the difference between guilt and shame?
Here are some of my thoughts:
😳guilt is an act you get caught for. You are forced to say sorry, go to jail, peers see you and point fingers. "You should be ashamed of yourself" -aha but are you? No one knows but you.
😌Shame is what you feel regardless of whether anyone knows about it or not - you know it's bad and you carry it with you, self hatred and judgment can erupt.
I've posted this photo to illustrate my point. This food could feed a small family. These are the remnants of our group the other day AFTER we were done. We couldn't take it with us so it went in the trash.
We were guilty of taking too much food (it was a buffet) we looked at eachother sheepishly and left. We were all equally guilty. But I feel ashamed of this and hope to plan better in the future. Some people never get to that shame - they are guilty but move on with no remorse. I certainly am not perfect but in this instance I feel this point so clearly.
I think perhaps we need shame to force us to be better. I'm not talking about Shame that one person does to another (shaming a child in front of friends) but I am talking about that subtle shift of awareness that yes you wasted food, time, money or love and you feel bad about it in order to be better next time.
How do you get rid of shame? Awareness then forgiveness and improvement
Maria Humphreys is a meditation expert, personal trainer, mom and wife.